I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
