it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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