Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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