thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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