keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
