He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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