I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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