hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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