but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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