Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
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