My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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