you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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