I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
