You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
