In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
