I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
