After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
