I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Randomize
