They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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