I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
