We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
