Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
