just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
