Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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