And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
