I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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