are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
