I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
