kristin has been a bad kristin
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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