ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
