we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
