The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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