Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
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