found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
