i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
