seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
