"it" just moved
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
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soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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