i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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