When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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