I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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