You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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