Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
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Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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