i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
