Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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