why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
