Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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