Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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