Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Can you bring me the toilet please
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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