no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
