so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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