he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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