hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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