But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He felt like a one man threesome
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
