weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
