winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
