i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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