What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
