I wish my penis had an off switch
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize