cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
