And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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