As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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