I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
