So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
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He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
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It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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