I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
