nut hugger
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
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