GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
