i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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