And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
