U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You are the jesus of drinking
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
