ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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