We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
