just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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