3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
