dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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