when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
