are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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