I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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